


Between a Bed and a Hard Place

by skeedelvee



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Simon, Crack, Enthusiastic Consent, M/M, One Shot, POV Alternating, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rimming, Rough Sex, Shameless Smut, Smut, Switch Baz, Switch Simon, Switches, Tail Kink, Top Baz, Trapped, fucked from behind, stuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:54:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27807880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeedelvee/pseuds/skeedelvee
Summary: Simon gets stuck half under his bed, Baz seizes the opportunity with innocent intentions, but things quickly dissolve into something much less innocent
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 4
Kudos: 140





	Between a Bed and a Hard Place

**Baz**

I’ve only just walked in the door when I hear him.

“Baz? Could you come in here? I need your help.”

I drop my bag and make my way to Simon’s bedroom. When I open the door I see Simon’s lower half peeking out from under the bed, tail and all. It’s a cute look actually.

“What on earth are you doing down there?” I laugh out.

“I dropped my phone and I was trying to get it. I bumped my back and my wings ended up breaking through the spell you cast this morning. Now I’m stuck. I would have called for help, but my phone’s dead.”

I can’t help it, I devolve into a fit of giggles.

“Sod off. Could you take this seriously and get me out please?”

“How can I when I come home to find my bumbling boyfriend stuck under his own bed, looking like Winnie the Pooh stuck in a honey tree.”

“Baz! Come on! Get me out!”

I know he’s frustrated, but he’s wiggling his bottom in a way that’s really not helping his case. I pull myself together and clear my throat. I can work with this actually.

“All in due time, Snow. I think while I have you here at my mercy it’s high time I got something done I’ve been asking you to do for weeks.”

**Simon**

Baz is being a prat. I really shouldn’t be surprised. I wish Penny came home first; she’d have a laugh at my expense as well, but she’d probably have already gotten me free by now. I don’t know what Baz is plotting, but it can’t be good.

I hear him move around the room. He walks over to the bedside table and pulls something out. He comes back to me and sits down on my thighs, pinning me between his legs. I hear the sound of a cap popping open and the movement of hands. His hands are on me now, tugging my joggers and pants halfway down my arse. I tense. “What are you-” Then I feel his slick hands grasp me, starting at the base of my tail and working their way up.

“Your tail has gotten criminally dry from the winter air, I’ve been telling you to tend to it for almost a month now”

“I can do that myself, Baz!”

“You won’t though, that's the problem. And I’m the one who has to deal with your tossing and turning itching at the poor thing in your sleep. Now be a good boy and lie still and I’ll give you a lolly afterward.”

“Fine.”

I feel like a child who has to get held down for their shots. I’m pouting with my arms crossed even though I know he can’t see me.

I have a right to be annoyed, and I am, but that’s slowly melting away as Baz tends to my tail. It feels good, really good. Why haven’t we thought of this before? Can a tail be an erogenous zone? He’s running the length through his fists, rubbing in what I now know is moisturizer. His thumb is pressing up on the underside as he glides toward the tip, putting just enough pressure to soothe any tension. The base must be chock full of nerve endings; everytime he returns to the spot I get all warm and tingly. I forget myself and let out a soft moan.

“See, Snow? Not so bad afterall.” He purrs. Cocky bastard.

He gives my tail a few more teasing pulls before laying it to the side.

“All set. Now let’s get you out of there, hm?”

“Wait, um, you could- you could keep taking advantage of the situation if you want.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t know, it’s kind of hot not knowing what you’re up to back there. That you could do whatever you wanted, that I’m completely at your mercy.”

“Well if you insist.”

**Baz**

I can see the blush creep down Simon’s back. It’s utterly endearing how bashful he can be sometimes. I hook my fingers under the elastic of his joggers and pull them down to the tops of his thighs. I feel blessed with the sight of his naked rear. I squeeze his cheeks with both hands reverently.

“Mmm, butter really does do a body good.”

“Oi!”

“I’m completely serious, Snow. Your plump behind is sinfully delectable.”

I lean down and nip his right cheek. Simon rewards me with a little yelp. I soothe the mark with a kiss. 

I feel like drawing this out, so I let myself get carried away with showering the perfect bottom before me with every ounce of affection it deserves. I pepper it with kisses and playful bites as my hands massage the soft pliant flesh. I’m nuzzling my entire face into it when Simon peeps up.

“Bazzzz…”

I decide to be merciful and get on with it. I pull my face away and use my thumbs to spread his cheeks. I can see his hole twitch with anticipation. I rub inwards, teasing and spreading the puckered muscle. I lean back down and slowly lick my way up from his taint, through the crack and up the base of his tail. He whimpers and wriggles in my hold.

“You like that, huh? How about this?”

I leave open mouth kisses around the base of his tail. I can feel him quiver under my tongue. I pour a generous amount of moisturizer on my palm and grasp him, wanking the tail like I would his cock. I move my mouth back to his hole and get to work. He moans deeply as I devour him. 

His tail seems to like the attention it’s getting; It’s swaying with abandon above us. Simon keens whenever I hit the spot just between the base and the top of his crack. I milk the area with the pad of my thumb. The tail whips around lightning fast and lands a hard slap on my arse.

“Fuck!”

“Shit, sorry! Sorry! You ok?”

“Do that again!” I pant out.

I lead the spaded tip back to me. Needing no more instruction, Simon smacks me again, and again, and again. 

I dig my fingers into his flesh and grind my growing erection into his thighs. “Hah! Fuck, I want you!”

“Fuck! Yeah, yes please!”

**Simon**

I can hear Baz tearing off his clothes behind me. Honestly being stuck isn’t so bad anymore, now that my bodies all jelly from being fondled and rimmed. That tail hand job was something else. I’ll never moisturize it again if this is the kind of treatment I get.

Baz peels my joggers all the way off, then grabs a pillow and pops it between my hips and the floor. After grabbing the lube from the bedside table, he sits back down on my thighs. He slicks up his fingers and starts to work me open. My body welcomes him as he breaches me with the first finger. It doesn’t take long before I’m rutting into the pillow. He adds another and strokes my prostate. He trails his free hand to my tail and starts rubbing that sweet spot again. The combination is making me lose my breath. I can hear him hum in satisfaction. He goes easy when adding a third finger, pulling me away from the edge. His hand has stilled on my tail, I wrap it around his waist and give him a squeeze. He growls.

“How bad do you want it?”

“So bad…”

“You said you wanted to be at my mercy, that I could do whatever I wanted, correct?”

“Fuck, yeah…”

“I’m going to fuck you till you scream my name, Snow.”

“Fuck…” I know he can’t see me, but I can’t help but nod enthusiastically.

He retreats his fingers and lubes up his cock. He holds my waist with one hand and lines up his cock with the other. He pushes in in one fell swoop, like ripping off a bandaid. It knocks the wind out of me. I barely have a moment before he’s sliding out and pushing in just as fast. I take in a shaky breath.

“Fuuuuuck!”

“That’s it. You take my cock so fucking good, don’t you?”

Another out, then pounding back in.

“Fuck, yeah yeah yeah!”

Baz never fucks me this hard, that’s usually a me fucking him kind of thing. I like it though, I really like it. Makes me think of the old Baz, the Baz that would tackle me to the ground in a fight and make me feel conflicted things in my gut. 

He’s got his fingers dug into my waist and he’s pounding into me like a madman. I’ve got my hands balled into fists in front of me, braced to take whatever he can give. My cock is grinding down into the pillow, soaking it with precum. I’m a babbling mess. I don’t think I’m even saying anything, it’s just overjoyed gibberish flowing into the floorboards.

I give Baz another squeeze with my tail and try to spank him with my spade again. He growls again and spanks me back, hard.

“HAH!! Fuck, Baz!”

“You like that?”

I press my arse back into him and he gifts me another hard slap. I’m so close. I’m screaming and I don’t even care. Baz grips my waist harder and moves to tease that sweet spot again with his other hand, rubbing it to the same rhythm as his thrusting. It’s so good. I’m falling apart. I'm seeing stars.

“AH! AHHHH! FUUUUCK! BAAAaAAAaaAZ!!!”

I almost black out, I cum so hard. Baz pulls out when I go limp and jerks himself over me. I squeeze him in encouragement. The wet sounds of the lube are absolutely lewd. I love that he’s gotten so worked up over me. He grunts out his orgasm and cums over my arse and lower back. I can feel him lean into the side of the bed as he catches his breath. I loosen and unwind my tail’s hold on him and let it fall to the floor. After a moment, he leans down and gives my behind a tender kiss.

“Right then.”

I don’t know how he has the strength for it after that, but he lifts the side of the bed right up off me; then I remember, vampire strength. I manage to push myself out, but I stay collapsed on the floor.

“Put me on top now, would you? I’m knackered.”

“Ugh, you’re lucky I’m soft for you.” 

He picks up his wand, “ **Clean as a whistle!** ”, and the mess of lube and cum is gone. He pries my chest off the floor and I wrap my arms around his shoulders. He lifts us to standing and then tips us over onto the bed. I nuzzle into his chest and let out a contented sigh. We deserve a nap.

“Do you want me to spell away your wings and tail, love?”

“Nah, let’s leave them for now.”

My eyelids are heavy. I begin to drift off to sleep to the feeling of Baz winding my tail around his arm and burying his face in my curls.

With my last bit of consciousness I yawn and murmur “Wait, where’s that lolly you promised me?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I just rejoined tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/skeedelvee  
> No promises that I'll post there often, but come say hi or send me fanart! <3


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